My, my, my… What is there to say about this film? This film is so bad it’s comedic, closely following behind the dreadful footsteps of Troll 2, which has been dubbed the Best Worst Movie as seen in the documentary by the same title. The film opens with a woman screaming in an inappropriately erotic way while giving birth to her first son. She seems to be in pleasure and in pain and the doctor (Oh hey, Donald Pleasence before Halloween) says that this baby does not want to be born. The camera zooms in and out in rapid succession as the doctor performs a C-section and the baby is finally removed with forceps.
It actually took me some time to track this movie down on IMDb, since it has gone by a few different titles including: I Don’t Want to Be Born, The Devil Within Her, The Monster and Sharon’s Baby. The last one cracks me up since the mother in the film, played by Joan Collins, is named Lucy… NOT Sharon. I finally found it by looking through Donald Pleasence’s films from the 70’s.
The nonlinear and convoluted plot goes something like this: It seems that mother and baby are already off to a bad start as the baby scratches and draws blood from Lucy. And while Lucy has company over, they enter the baby’s room to find it completely ripped apart and in complete chaos. I dramatically rolled my eyes at this part as these people don’t even ask themselves how a newborn baby could destroy an entire room. I mean, I know this is fiction but their reactions are so outlandish it is infuriating.
Lucy, thinking the baby hates her, retells her story before she was a mother and meeting her husband for the first time. She was a stripper who was stalked by a little dwarf man. When she denies him, he curses her unborn baby saying it will be as big as he is small and possessed by the devil himself. Now that she realizes her worst nightmare is true, she can’t bear to tell her husband, even though he knows about her seedy past.
The most frustrating film thing about the film is the lack of special effects and poor editing, ending up with nonexistent tension and terror. Basically, we just have to guess at what happens and how people are killed because NOTHING is shown on camera. I understand the concept of leaving things to the imagination but this gives the audience nothing to work with. I’d really like to know how a baby drags around a lifeless body when an adult could hardly do the same. Oh, and did I mention there is a nun who is also a scientist? If that isn’t the most absurd paradox, then I don’t know what is!
To be honest, this movie is just plain boring. I struggled to get through the 95 minutes film when it really felt like it dragged on for 3 hours. This is a pathetic attempt at horror that is unable to conjure up any type of fear or dread. There is a way to make fiction, even devil babies for that matter, convincing… and this is not it. The only redeeming factor is that the bad guy wins. Oh wait, that doesn’t happen either.
If you are interested in watching this terrible film you can rent it on Amazon.
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