Girl House is the kind of horror movie that you just have to love. Yes, it is mediocre and unoriginal, but it plays the melody of stalker-chasing-hot-girls so befittingly that you can’t help but love this conventional and clichéd horror film.
Tell me you haven’t heard this before. Kylie, with her beautiful, girl-next-door look, is earning extra money for college by being a video cam girl. It’s one step above being a stripper and having grubby man hands all over you. Instead, Kylie gets to strip in front of her computer in the safety of an undisclosed, protected mansion. She was invited into the girl house by a “Hugh Hefner of the 21st century”, who has built a hot girl kingdom. Kylie is an immediate hit in the house, her sexy yet innocent appearance a real turn on; thousands of men logged in and watching, entranced, including a man with the online handle: Loverboy.
Let’s talk about Loverboy for a second. At the beginning of the film we learn that Loverboy was tormented as a child, by a teasing and coquettish girl asking to see his “weewee”. Flash forward to now and he is one big, mean dude. I was really hoping there would be more of a twist to the story, but there isn’t. You won’t be disappointed if you don’t expect there to be anything poignant or momentous. Keep this in mind and this stereotypical film will lure you in- hook, line, and sinker.
The cast, who all start out as vapid, model-esque, shells of human beings (and big boobs), actually have personalities that hold your interest throughout the film. Watching these girls, from running around in naked glee to crawling for their lives as they are being hacked and butchered, produces authentic receptiveness for these innocent girls. There are too many “hot girl” characters to keep up with, but Kylie stands strong as the leading lady- following all the horror movie rules: “don’t have sex”, don’t do drugs”, “don’t say I’ll be right back”. In order to survive, Kylie must follow these rules and we know that Girl House doesn’t stray too far from the wheelhouse.
As stereotypical as this film is, with its overload of horror clichés, it has some moments of brilliance that really makes me respect the crew who put this film together. These people must be true horror fans themselves with all of the horror referencing. The film opens with a quote from Ted Bundy- who is most known for his killing spree at a sorority house. Girl House is far from a sorority, but you can stretch your imagination here to understand the intrinsic value. Hitchcock’s Rear Window is mentions on more than one occasion and LoverBoy looks like a cross between Michael Myers from Halloween in his coveralls and Billy from Black Christmas in his long-haired, woman mask. The infamous printed hallway from The Shining can also be seen as wallpaper during one of the kill scenes. I pay attention to details and this has surprisingly plenty. Girl House could get cheesy, but it never does. Girl House could get boring, but it never does. In fact, Girl House is a Halloween style slasher for the digital age.
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